A Slightly Unhinged Guide to Making Friends in University

Last semester, someone asked me, “Emi, how do you make friends on campus?”

I was surprised she asked me because we were both in our first year at SFU, and just like her, I was also settling into the new environment. Her question made me realize that finding new connections doesn’t come easily to everyone, and that’s completely okay. I’m no friendship expert, but as an older transfer student, I learned a few tricks that helped me find my people.

Let’s be honest, making friends in school isn’t easy. With the large campuses that are hard to maneuver, the never-ending project deadlines, and so many students rushing home right after class ends, how could you possibly find the time to meet someone new? It’s hard but it’s not impossible. You’d be surprised. People are a lot more open to new connections than you think.

Whether you’re a first-year or a seasoned student, here are a few unhinged tips and tricks that will (hopefully) help you find a new pal on campus.

1.     Say hello

How revolutionary, I know. But it works, trust me. Be the first one to break the ice. Like you, people are shy and would appreciate someone else making the first move. Whether that’s saying hello to the person sitting beside you at Welcome Day or in your lecture, you’ve already made a step forward that most people don’t even bother to make.

Skip the small talk and ask genuine questions about the other person. People love to talk about themselves. If they’re friendly, they’ll ask questions about you too, and next thing you know, you’re having a conversation with someone. Congratulations, you’ve finished step one!

2.     Make a friend in each one of your classes

This is a tip that I read in an old college advice blog post years ago and it worked wonders for me. The original tip encouraged students to make friends in their classes so you can ask someone for notes if you were away one day. Simple, but also practical.

You don’t need to be best friends with someone in every class, but it would help to know at least one person. Say hello to the person sitting beside you and exchange numbers or social media handles after class. Sometimes it can lead to a new friendship or simply just a classmate that you can lean on when you’re away.

3.     Ask people to study with you

I am the queen of study dates. Many of my favourite college and university friendships started from a simple study day. As students, we always have something to study, whether that’s a midterm, paper, or a project we need to work on. People will rarely say no to the opportunity to “body double” (which means working alongside someone) during the semester.

Once you’ve made a friend or two from your classes, invite them to study after class with you one day. It’s low pressure, gives you a reason to get to know each other outside of class, and get some homework done at the same time. It’s a win-win!

4.     Get involved on campus

You can make friends outside the classroom too! Are you interested in a niche topic or hobby? There’s probably a club on campus for that. If so, go attend one of their events. If not, go make one. You’re probably not the only person interested in creative writing or Taylor Swift or jiu jitsu. It would be so exciting to meet people with the same distinct and unique hobby as you.

If you’re a Communication student like me, go attend the workshops and events that the School of Communication or the Communication Student Union (CMNSU) host during the semester. It’s such an easy opportunity to make a new friend at these events because everyone present is there with the same intention. I’ve attended a fair number of their CMNS events in my first year at SFU and I’ve met so many incredible people so far. They’re all so friendly!

5.     Be unapologetically yourself

This is my absolute favourite tip. Be brave and be unapologetically yourself.

You can say hello to all the people in your classes or even at all these events. But if you’re not being truly yourself, it’ll be harder to meet your people. I find that the more I am myself, from my bubbly, moody to energetic self, the more I attract people that like me for who I am.

Trust me. You don’t ever want to change yourself just to make a new friend. There will be people who will like you just the way you are, if you’re willing to show up as yourself.
 

That is all! I hope you may find these tips helpful in finding a new friend at SFU. As a mature college transfer, I was also scared of not making a friend on campus. But thankfully, by being myself and slowly going outside my comfort zone, I was able to find my tribe.

I hope the same will happen to you too, friend. Good luck!